I know everyone has strange experiences at Wal Mart. Today I headed to buy a few groceries. I was actually able to go by myself, which is rare.
As SOON as I entered the store I headed to the vitamin aisle. On the end of the vitamins are the laxatives. (Do you see where this is going?) There was an older lady there shopping and she stopped me asking did I have children. What gave that away? Probably my hips! Anyway, I said, “yes”. She said, “Well, Hun, I am looking for children’s suppositories. They used to make them children’s size.”
I’m thinking, “GREAT!”
But I said, “Well, we just buy regular ones and break them in half.”
As I prepared to walk away and continue shopping, she called me BACK!
“Well, I want children’s”
I replied, “Ok, I see these infant suppositories. Try these.”
For those of you who don’t know, they are like mini, tiny enemas. They have a tiny bulb filled with liquid glycerin. You can figure out the rest.
This lady could NOT figure out the rest. She INSISTED that I explain to her how they worked.
So, I did.
Then, she says, “Hun, you are gonna have to speak loudly, I am hard of hearing.”
You have GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! Lady, you expect me to yell how to use an enema!
So, I did while fully expecting a camera crew to round the corner at any moment announcing which comedic TV show I was to be featured on.
Then she asks, “Well, what do you do with it when you are finished?”
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Uhm, you go sit and wait?!
Actually, she clarified and she meant that she was unclear at to if these were refillable!
WTH?!
“No ma’am, they are not refillable. You throw it away and buy more if you need them.”
She thanked me and walked away. Finally. Phew! No cameras.
I proceeded shopping and guess who I ran into on the NEXT aisle. Yes, there she was.
She stopped AGAIN!
Oh dear! What now?!
She said, “I know you think I am crazy for wearing this long sleeved shirt.”
Yes, I do think you are crazy, but it has NOTHING to do with your shirt.
She proceeded that she has brown spots on her arms and she was ashamed.
WHAT?! Could have fooled me. I thought you had NO SHAME lady. I mean look, you just had me, a complete stranger, yell directions for an enema, but you are ashamed of some sun spots?! Really!
She went on to tell me how she was 90 years old. (she looked pretty good,too)
Wow, just wow!
To my aging family members: If you need assistance with enemas or the like, do NOT stop another shopper and require them to YELL the directions. We shoppers DO NOT ENJOY explaining such things.
Jeepers! What a trip.
2 comments:
I'm glad you were kind. She really just needed someone to talk to and you were there. love you, c
Awwwww ... she sounded lonely. I too am glad you were kind to her albeit freaked a little.
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